Lisa Lampanelli Quotes – Lisa Lampanelli is a stand-up comedian from America. She is also an insult comedian and an actress. She was born in Trumbull. Lisa belongs to a middle-class family. Lisa Lampanelli’s work is based on minority groups.
In Popular Mechanics, Lisa works as a copy editor. She stayed in Rolling Stone as an assistant. Lisa Lampanelli also played the role of chief in Spy magazine. She has done a lot of hard work in her entire journey.
Lisa inspires others with her wonderful and amazing life. Her words had a strong impact on others. For inspiring you, have some famous Lisa Lampanelli Quotes. These quotes might inspire you to work hard.
51 Popular Lisa Lampanelli Quotes
2.”The thing is, in the dating profiles it says ‘spiritual,’ but not with a specific religion. And so I pretty much try to meditate, but I have a very hard time concentrating on things other than me.” -Lisa Lampanelli
3.”I know Bea Arthur left the Pam Anderson roast really early, but it could have been because she was half dead; I don’t know.”-Lisa Lampanelli
4.”I don’t like any of it. I’m sick and tired of menopause.”-Lisa Lampanelli
5.”With Don Rickles and me, we’re just telling the truth. We’re not terrific people, and we’re not gonna win the beauty contest. We’re just average Joes. We’re just being who we are, and I think people like that.”-Lisa Lampanelli
6.”I say every slur on the planet – racial, homosexual, everything to do with every ethnic group on the planet – and guess what? I will never apologize for that because I know why I do it, and it is to make a valid point about ignorance in this society.”-Lisa Lampanelli
7.”Betty White is so old that on her first game show ever, the prize was fire.”-Lisa Lampanelli
8.”Andy Dick is so gay, he thinks Margaret Cho is funny.”-Lisa Lampanelli
9.”When I say I’m going gangster, I’m working really hard at something.”-Lisa Lampanelli
10.”People with HIV and AIDS are nothing to be afraid of. They are people just like every single one of us, and each has a story to tell. These people should be helped, embraced, and not dismissed. We need to open our hearts and our minds to them, and we just may learn we’re pretty much all the same.”-Lisa Lampanelli
11.”I say every slur on the planet – racial, homosexual, everything to do with every ethnic group on the planet – and guess what? I will never apologize for that because I know why I do it, and it is to make a valid point about ignorance in this society.”-Lisa Lampanelli
12.”I got sick of trying everything. I tried every single thing imaginable – diet, exercise. I even bought a house on the health spa property, and I still gained weight.”-Lisa Lampanelli
13.” My thing has always been, I’ve never been very open and vulnerable with people, so the minute I got this dog, everything changed. It just opened me up and made me more loving… It’s all because of him… He’s made me a better person… I can tell people what I feel now. I can cry in front of people sometimes.”-Lisa Lampanelli
14.” I’ve never wanted to be a person where somebody would be like, ‘I like her; she’s okay.’ Love or hate is fine, because it sells tickets.”-Lisa Lampanelli
15.” I’m a take-no-prisoners type of comic, and I’m lucky because my fans get me and never have a problem with the politically incorrect themes of my act. But I am continually amazed by how a certain section of our society seems to be so freakin’ sensitive about jokes.”-Lisa Lampanelli
16.” Comedy is like music – there are genres and styles for every taste. Katy Perry is there for people who like frothy pop music. Metallica is there for people who like head-banging metal. And Susan Boyle is there for… well, I don’t who the hell is listening to that freak of nature, but that’s not the point. In art, there’s something for everybody.”-Lisa Lampanelli
17.” I always order soup, dessert, and a sandwich or whatever main course. But then the idea is you have to eat such a small portion of it and bring the rest home.”-Lisa Lampanelli
18.” I didn’t feel ready to leave home, because it went from no freedom to all freedom. And I was like, ‘Oh, my God, I don’t know what I’m doing in college.’ There seemed to be no like-minded people where I was… I didn’t have a clan. I didn’t have a choir… There was no safety net.”-Lisa Lampanelli
20.” Nobody escapes during Lisa Lampanelli’s show.”-Lisa Lampanelli
21.”Insult comedy has been around forever. I can make fun of people, and they won’t get mad at me.”-Lisa Lampanelli
22.”That’s the whole thing: You only roast the ones you love. That’s why I never make fun of the French.”-Lisa Lampanelli
23.”Shortly after college, I was working in New York City at ‘Rolling Stone’ magazine.”-Lisa Lampanelli
24.”None of my comedy depended on looks. I never did tons of fat jokes.:
25.”In the end, censoring a comedian’s jokes is on par with censoring ‘Huckleberry Finn.’ Now, I’m not comparing myself to Mark Twain – he had much wavier hair and a slightly thicker mustache. But when you deny an artist the chance to explore his art, you’re forcing your beliefs on him.”-Lisa Lampanelli
26.”I feel that if I retire today, I’ve done enough. I’ve achieved everything in comedy… I feel I don’t need anything else. It’s already built.:”-Lisa Lampanelli
27.”I keep getting asked out by really young, good looking boys and really ugly lesbians. So, even if I wanted to jump onto the tuna boat, I wouldn’t because I’m not getting high-class babes that I should get at this level of my career. And I always know the ugly ones are serious and that the good-looking ones are goofing on me.”-Lisa Lampanelli
28.”Crazy diets, good diets, you can’t name one I didn’t do.”-Lisa Lampanelli
29.”I wasn’t ready to be a dog’s mother! Trust me, I’m completely unfit and irresponsible. I’m a comic that travels 48 weeks a year, but I make it work, so you can, too.”-Lisa Lampanelli
30.”I do a big roast of Trump during my set now – which I clearly expanded on – because there’s so much to make fun of him about now.”-Lisa Lampanelli
31.”It used to be that in media, Johnny Carson used to be the most important person when he would invite you over to sit on the couch after your comedy skit. Now it’s whatever Howard Stern says goes.”-Lisa Lampanelli
32.”I’m always proud of what I’ve done and what I continue to do.”-Lisa Lampanelli
33.”Interesting-looking people have always been comedians, and it’s rare that someone who has the choice to model ends up being a comic. Except for maybe Whitney Cummings, but that’s about it. That’s why she’s special: because she can combine it.”-Lisa Lampanelli
34.”I don’t sell myself. I’ve never explained my comedy to people who don’t get it. Never complain. Never explain.”-Lisa Lampanelli
35.”What you bring to the stage is what you are in real life… people sense that.”-Lisa Lampanelli
37.”The dog lasted. The marriage didn’t. So it shows which relationship was meant to be.”-Lisa Lampanelli
38.”I was 25 myself once. I also thought I knew everything. I also thought that I could give singers singing advice and comics comedy advice. When you’re that age, you know it all, so I understand it. But when you’re tired and you don’t have patience for it, you definitely snap.”-Lisa Lampanelli
39.”We usually let our husbands negotiate the house and the cars. But I never had a husband, so I was always buying my own houses and cars, so I knew how to negotiate.”-Lisa Lampanelli
40.”If they hate you, they hate you, but I’ve always been polarizing, and I love that.”-Lisa Lampanelli
41.”When I decided to do ‘The Celebrity Apprentice,’ there was absolutely no question that I would play the game for GMHC.”-Lisa Lampanelli
42.”Too many people have already lost their lives to HIV and AIDS, and the more celebrities who can bring attention to the issue, the better.”-Lisa Lampanelli
43.”I’ve played every comedy club and every theatre across the country for the last 25 years and seen a lot of audience members from different ethnic persuasions.”-Lisa Lampanelli
44.”I lasted seven years as a journalist, and I’ve been doing comedy for twenty years.”-Lisa Lampanelli
45.”I kind of knew inside that I wanted to try comedy, but it was a mystery. How do you start? So when I hit 30 and I had done everything I wanted to do in journalism, so I went to a comedy class. I figured I’d learn how to do five minutes and see how it feels.”-Lisa Lampanelli
46.”I always wrote about myself in the third person. I knew how to promote myself so it sounded intelligent. I know how to package myself.”-Lisa Lampanelli
47.”When doing comedy, I do what makes me laugh. The first person I learned from said I should talk about things I am passionate about – that I love or hate – because the audience likes to see passion. The stuff I rant and rave about stems from a place that really pisses me off.”-Lisa Lampanelli
48.”I’m not a political comic at all, so it would be weird if I just turned into a preachy, sort-of political commentator.”-Lisa Lampanelli
49.”If Flavor Flav was any smaller and darker, Brad and Angelina would try to adopt him.”-Lisa Lampanelli
50.”Ticket sales will get higher the day after roasts.”-Lisa Lampanelli
In 1990 Lisa Lampanelli started her career. She converted her career from journalism to comedy. Lisa Lampanelli took a break from her job in Journalism, and then she participated in the New York Friars Club roast.
She also roasted many popular people there. Lisa Lampanelli roast Denis Leary, Donald Trump, Pamela Anderson, David Hasselhoff, Jeff Foxworthy, Wiliam Shatner, and Flavor Flav.
“I remember, after the Pamela Anderson roast, being told, ‘You’re sold out – you can add two more shows.'”-Lisa Lampanelli
Lisa does a lot of hard work in her life. It was very difficult to change the field. Switching from journalism to comedy was quite challenging. Lisa Lampanelli loves to do comedy, and she took that path.
She has a great sense of humor. Her talk is full of humor and comedy. If you feel down, then Lisa Lampanelli’s quotes might help you a lot. If you are feeling sad, then read or listen to Lisa Lampanelli. Do share these Lisa Lampanelli with other people as well.