75 Most Hilarious and Amazing Squirrely Dan Quotes


Squirrely Dan Quotes

Squirrely Dan Quotes – Squirrely Dan is the main character of a TV series named LetterKenny, played by one of the most amazing fellow K Trevor Wilson. LetterKenny is a Canadian TV sitcom developed and written primarily by Keeso and Jacob Tierney, created by Jared Kesso, starring Michelle Mylett, K. Trevor Wilson, and Nathan Dales.

This amazing series follows the fictional rural community’s residents of LetterKenny in Ontario Loosely based on the hometown of Keeso of Listowel, Ontario. As the story goes on, more spice, humor, attraction, and beauty come and take everything to the next level.


LetterKenny revolves around a small rural Canadian community and most episodes open with “There are 5000 people in LetterKenny”. This series focuses on siblings Katy and Wayne, who run a small farm and produce stand with Wayne’s friend Squirrely Dan.

Amazing Squirrely Dan and LetterKenny Quotes

  1. Squirrely Dan Quotes
  2. “Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there.” — Wayne
  3. “You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a .22.” — Wayne
  4. “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us.”  — Daryl
  5. “Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.” — Wayne
  6. “If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me.” — Wayne
  7. “Oh, get off the cross, we need the wood.” — Wayne
  8. “Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s? — Jonesy
  9. “…I’m too fat to run.” — Squirrelly Dan
  10. “You’d best be preparin’ for a Donny Brook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours.” — Wayne
  11. “We need backup, boys.” — Jonesy
  12. “Hard no.” — Wayne
  13. “Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?” —Reilly
  14. “Pitter-patter, let’s get at ‘er.” — Everyone
  15. “Not my pig, not my farm.” — Wayne
  16. “Seeing as this is most certainly a one-off event and not a tradition that also falls on some made-up holiday that I couldn’t give a cats queef about, I’m out. There’s happiness calling my name from the bottom of a bottle of Puppers.” — Wayne
  17. “Where’s the sacrifice?” — Jonesy
  18. “Let’s go easy over there, Squirrelly Dan.” — Wayne
  19. “And I suggest you let that one marinate.” — Wayne
  20. “You’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?” — Wayne
  21. “That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.” — Katy
  22. “Figure it out!” — Everyone
  23. “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except for kids falling off bikes, maybe. Fuck, I could watch kids falling off bikes all day, I don’t give a fuck about your kids.” — Wayne
  24. “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.” — Coach
  25. “If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat.” — Katy
  26. “Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the fuck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em.” — Wayne
  27. “It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails.” — Wayne
  28. Squirrely Dan Quotes
  29. “Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the fucking windshield.” — Katy
  30. “You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciates about you.” — Squirrelly Dan
  31. “Buddy you couldn’t wheel a fuckin’ tire down a hill.” — Wayne
  32. “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your ass, cowboy!” — Gail
  33. “What’s up with your body hair, you big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.” — Wayne
  34. “I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? Oh I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sportin’ now.” — Daryl
  35. “Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is given’ the dairy cow’s teets a good scrubbin’.” — Wayne
  36. “You can cross fuck off.” — Wayne
  37. “Fuck you, Shoresy, you’re a terrible fuckin ref!” — Jonesy
  38. “Fuck you Shoresy! Put a shirt on.” — Reilly
  39. “Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!”  — Squirrelly Dan
  40. “Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?” — Wayne
  41. “You seen a ‘coon havin’ sex with a barn cat on top of your truck? Fuck what’s the nature of that David Suzuki.” — Wayne
  42. “You stopped toe curlin’ in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.”  — Wayne
  43. “Fuck you Jonesy! Your mom just liked my Instagram post from 2 years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her any time she likes.” — Reilly
  44. “Fuck, Lemony Snicket, what A Series of Unfortunate Events you been through, you ugly fuck.” — Jonesy
  45. “Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like yer pants are doin’ it for ya.” — Wayne
  46. “Fuck you, Reilly, go scoop it off your mom’s floor! She gives my nipples butterfly kisses.” — Jonesy
  47. “Fuck you, Jonesy, your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you!” — Shoresy
  48. “You ever hoover schneef off a sleeping cow’s spine?” “I’ve hoovered schneef off an awake cow’s teet.” — Daryl
  49. “It’s like algebra…why you gotta put numbers and letters together? Why can’t you just go fuck yourself?”  — Wayne
  50. “You naturally care for a companionship, but I guess there’s a lot worse things than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark.” — Wayne
  51. “You wanna come to a super soft birthday party?” – Shoresy
  52. “It’s Pertnear Time To Tune Into Letterkenny, So Be Sure To Set Yer Dials.” – Letterkenny
  53. Squirrely Dan Quotes
  54. “You’re pretty good at wrestling there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciate about you.” –Squirrelly Dan
  55. “I want to give back to the community by helping people find love.” – Wayne
  56. “You stopped toe curling in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.” – Wayne
  57. “I am willing to give 69% of my company to a partner, why 69%? Both sides benefit!. Good Enough!” – Gail
  58. “Then I’d have to put my wine down.” – Marie-Fred
  59. “You Were A Sniper In That Game Today And… Do You See That Sniper At 3 O’clock?” – Letterkenny
  60. “Your sister’s lasagna gave everyone the scoots for weeks up in here.” – Gail
  61. “Do you know what, I don’t want you to kiss and tell, that’s impolite…. but I am kind of curious.” – Shoresy
  62. “His Girlfriend Was Going Out Of Town So She Tooted The Horn One More Time Before She Left.” – Letterkenny
  63. “The world needs less Facebook and more Face-to-Face!” – Wayne
  64. “Every woman knows that the way to a man’s heart is not through his zipper, it’s through his stomach.” – Wayne
  65. “Look if you are coming, you better come correct.” – Gail
  66. “Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like your pants are doing it for you.” – Wayne
  67. “Fuck Lemony Snicket, What A Serious Of Unfortunate Events You Fuckin Been Through You Ugly Fuck. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams!” – Letterkenny
  68. “Got anymore of that electric lettuce? These darts aren’t doing it.” – Shoresy
  69. “The New Season Of Letterkenny Is Coming To Cravetv. So Pitter Patter, Lets Get At’er And Watch It Already.” – Letterkenny
  70. “Your dad says guys with big trucks have little dinks. And that makes sense cuz you want a real big truck and got a real little dink.” — Wayne
  71. Yes Dear, Pick Up Milk On The Way Home. That’s A Texas Sized 10-4.
  72. “Daryl: You guys do CrossFit? Wayne: You can cross fuck off.”
  73. I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation.
  74. Squirrely Dan Quotes

Above are some amazing Squirrely Dan quotes and proverbs from the famous LetterKenny that helps you remove the frustration of your day and smile harder. You can also share these hilarious Squirrely Dan sayings with your friends and family members as well.


K Trevor Wilson is a professional Canadian Comedian, a marvelous actor, and a hilarious writer. He grew up in Toronto, Ontario, and is best known as the character that I have mentioned above.

“You’re a cup of baby carrots, ya fucking asshole.” – Wayne

He won the Irwin Barker Home Grown Award in Montreal at the Just for Laughs Festival back in 2012. Trevor K Wilson professionally known as K Trevor Wilson appeared plenty of times at the JFL 42 as well as the festival as well, Halifax Comedy Festival, Winnipeg Comedy Festival.

He is also performed on Comedy Central’s Roast Battle along with Jimmy Kimmel Live. These exceptional Quotes of Squirrely Dan (Trevor K Wilson) bring a smile to your face and helps you stay healthy for life if you keep on reading these on a daily basis.